Week 55: Bitter Sweet

 What a week, so bitter sweet. Not much to report about the mission. On Wednesday we had to move EVERYTHING out of the office for painting and new carpet installation (bitter). There were at least 10 desks, at least 15 file cabinets, 5 computers, printers, monitors and all their cords (the Church needs to buy iMacs!), several tables, supply cabinets, the fridge, and lots of Book of Mormons in several languages and more.

The sweet side of it was that we just had to move next door to a vacant office, we had a great crew of missionaries to help us, and we were done in half the time we'd planned. Best of all -- will be having the new carpet, paint, and fresh smells when it's complete!

Elder Hadlock with Elders who helped with move

Knowing several weeks ago that the office would be "closed" for a few days, I coordinated with my brother and sister and made arrangements to gather at mother's winter home in Beaver Dam, AZ to go through her belongings there.  (Bitter ..... and Sweet)

Tissues collected from Mom's poc

Looking over memories

On Wednesday afternoon I flew into Las Vegas. Bitter because Van stayed behind, but sweet because my sister, Susan, flew in from North Carolina and met me there. We rented a car and began our journey through the Nevada desert in the dark of the night (bitter) -- but able to travel at 75+ mph! (sweet).  We arrived safely at mom's home (sweet), but so sad (bitter) that she wasn't there to greet us.

Our brother, Dale, his wife Cheryl, and daughter Cheyenne drove from American Fork, UT to join us Thursday afternoon (sweet). Susan and I went through Mom's clothes, trying some on, and removing tissues from pockets. Most went to a thrift store. Some will stay in the family (bitter & sweet).

Then we tackled other closets, drawers, cupboard, bathrooms, cabinets, etc., sorting items for garbage, the thrift store, and to be kept. We didn't have to remove everything because we've got a couple from Idaho next week who will be renting it for the winter (sweet). We really just had to get personal items out.

Cheryl took over the kitchen -- going through cupboards and fixing meals -- (very sweet indeed!) in addition to helping us with other tasks.

Dale got pilot lights going, checked out the sprinkling system, went through the shed, and worked on the golf cart. He found a buyer for it (sweet), but tears came again as we each took one last ride in the golf cart on desert roads. So, so many memories attached to that silly golf cart.

For some reason, being in Mom's Beaver Dam home was especially difficult for me emotionally. It was a winter refuge for our Mom, a special retreat for our family as well.  On a "piece of sand" in the barren desert, Mom took a hunk of junk double-wide trailer (in the eyes of many) and turned it into a very nice little home for her and Dad. She put a lot of blood, sweat, and probably tears into it. I think it was something she was rather proud of. Uncle Jaren put it this way: Contrary to what Shakespeare said, you're mother was able to take a sow's ear and turn it into a silk purse."

Grandchildren have had some pretty great adventures exploring the desert around this home. Lizards, snakes, scorpions abound. They found them all. Of course, there's no end to sand and the opportunity to dig holes. I'm sure I know only half of what they did there! I hope they'll take time to write about these memories and even be brave enough to share.

OK, well enough of that. It's making me cry again. I am trying to come to grips with the fact that the opportunity to make more memories with Mom are gone. That has ended. That reality is a bitter thought. However, I do have the opportunity and responsibility to remember, and help others remember, and honor the legacy of my mother and father. It will be sweet to see that memories are recorded and preserved and then shared and passed on to posterity. It will be sweet to continue some traditions and create new ones that help us honor their legacy.
It's interesting that the items in Mom's home that my brother, sister, and I picked out to be saved and divided amongst us were probably the items of least monetary value. The "keepers", the things that we care most about, are the items that trigger memories of loved ones.

Despite moments of sadness, we accomplished what needed to be done and still found time to visit, sing, play, and make new fun memories (sweet).

I am reminding myself that I would not be experiencing the sadness and bitterness of losing my mother if I had not also experienced the joy and sweet experiences with her during her mortal life.

This principle taught by Jacob in the Book of Mormon is taking on new life and meaning: " . . . it must needs be that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, ... righteousness could not be brought to pass,  . . .neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. . . . wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility. . . . the one being sweet, the other bitter.  ... having no joy, for they knew no misery. (see 2 Nephi 2: 11-26)

Well, the bitterness of saying goodbye again to my siblings on Sunday was rewarded with a sweet reunion with my dear husband. We missed our regular ward's meetings, but were able to make it back to Tacoma in time to go to another Sacrament meeting at 1 p.m. (sweet).

And then we and the Harwoods were invited to enjoy a delicious Sunday dinner at the Nelsons (sweet) on this beautiful rainy day. I am so, so blessed.

Life is bitter-sweet. Life is good.

P.S. -- Now will everyone behave themselves so I have no need to leave the mission for at least 5 more months!